Self-Examination Series
“I am with you always” — Mt. 28
Jesus promised that as we journey through life he is always with us. This means every moment of our day is filled with the possibility to meet with the risen Jesus. While this is an incredible promise, many of us experience a gap between Jesus’ promise and our lived reality. The practice of self-examination can help us, over time, close this gap, so that we can live increasingly aware of Jesus’ presence with us.
If you’re new to the practice of self-examination, I believe the best place to start is by reflecting back on our life circumstances. In particular, discerning where God has been at work in our lives. Notice the emphasis being past tense. At this point, we’re trying to cultivate a habit of self-examination. As we practice this discipline, I believe we will find ourselves more aware of God in our present reality.
I have found it helpful to reflect on the following three areas in order to discern where God has been at work in my life: (1) naming my life circumstance(s); (2) understanding my response(s) to my circumstance(s); (3) paying attention to my posture in the midst of my circumstance(s).
Unpacking the 3 areas:
Life Circumstances
As we practice self-examination, it is important for us to name what’s going on in our life. The main reason for this is to see our life as one unified story, instead of various compartments that aren’t connected or related to the other. This is really important if we want to see how God is at work in our lives. When Jesus said, “Come, follow me”, he wasn’t merely suggesting we follow him when we do “Christian things”. His invitation was to follow him in all of life! If we keep God out of our work then we are missing out on what Jesus wants to do in and through us in that area of our life. As you reflect, start to jot down what’s going on in your life. You can name any number of circumstances, but the goal is to name the more prevalent things happening in your life, especially if you notice a particular theme.
Paying Attention To Our Response(s)
As we begin naming our life circumstances, we want to pay attention to how we responded in the midst of those circumstances. The goal here is to simply name your initial response. This could be any number of thing, like, defensiveness, joy, grief, fear, excitement, sadness, anger, embarrassment, hopefulness, shame, etc. Begin to jot these things down in your journal.
Our circumstances can also stir up memories from our past or cause us to look ahead to the future. The same list of responses could apply here as well.
Without over complicating this, I think the easiest question to ask yourself, after naming your initial response, is simply, “Why…?” For example, “Why did I feel embarrassed when…”, or “Why did I get so angry when…”, or “Why did I get defensive when…?” Chase the “why” until you feel like you’ve gotten to the reason behind your initial response.
Postures of the Soul
Most of us don’t struggle reflecting on our life circumstances. Sure, we may forget an embarrassing amount! But generally speaking, it’s easy for us to name what’s going on in our life. The question we want to answer, however, is not simply what’s going on in our life, but, “Where is God in my circumstances?” There is no right or wrong way to answer this question. Focusing on the following four “postures of the soul” can help us reflect on God’s presence in our circumstances:
(1) Thanksgiving — How can I give God thanks?
(2) Celebration — What are the points of growth in my life for which I can praise
God?
(3) Lament — What has pulled me away from God?
(4) Confession — What areas of weakness or failure do I need to confess before God?
Notice that God is the subject of each question. The point being to help us orient ourselves to God in each life circumstance. Always, after answering this question or even noticing your responses, God may be inviting you to do something as a result of your reflection.
**These three areas of reflection are not necessarily meant to be done sequentially. For instance, you could start by reflecting on the postures of the soul, which could then lead you into greater awareness of a particular life circumstance. Or, as you reflect, you may notice a feeling of shame or anger before you even know where that’s coming from or how that’s pulled you away from God. Self-examination is a practice that takes time to develop. Each one of us may go about it a different way. The point here is to put language to the process of examination.
Here are a few things to keep in mind as your begin this practice:
(1) Keep the end in mind. The goal is to become a person of love as defined by Jesus in the gospels (Mt. 22:37-40). This is ultimately why we examine our lives. We want to seek growth in our love of God, others, and ourself. Our reflections may bring about feelings of shame or guilt, or lead to performance driven mentalities, or even frustrations for where we’re at on our journey with Jesus. All of these should be surrendered to Jesus! It’s easy to make self-examination an end in itself and forget that it’s simply a tool to help us grow and live into Jesus’ great commandment.
(2) Cultivate a daily or weekly rhythm of reflection. This is incredibly simple, yet one of the most neglected. Historically, self-examination was practiced at the end of each day, which was known as the ‘daily examen’. Whether we practice reflection daily or weekly, it’s important to build a rhythm into our daily, or weekly, calendar. We have to be intentional about this or it simply won’t happen.
Look at your weekly calendar and start thinking of a good time and place for you to begin practicing self-examination. For me, I do this on my weekly walks and will typically journal my reflections at the end of the walk. I will also reflect 10 or so minutes the night before or morning of in order to prepare for my Band or Table Community. In this way, the gatherings themselves can act as reminders for me to reflect more deeply on my life. What works for you?
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